Why You Hate Everyone and Think They’re Stupid
Because they are. End of blog. Thanks for reading!
Okay, not really. (But actually, I do think that is a viable answer for some people. Some people are stupid. And they happen to sit next to you at work. Amiright?) Anyway…
So, one thing I notice as I enter mid-life, and definitely very clearly from my peri-menopause clients for years, is that as we age we get very clear on what is bullish!t and what is not in our life and in those we interact with.
Sometimes that clarity comes with certain points in our cycle. More towards the pre-menstrual time, we can get super critical and want to crawl inside everyone and get them to behave (!). In peri-menopause this clarity might hang out with us for weeks or months at a time.
We can see exactly what is wrong with the world (and with that project manager) and know exactly how to fix it, too. We can point out all the excess baloney, tell people where to get off, and see who’s being fakety-ass fake.
This season of clarity -sometimes called ‘bitchiness’ by our culture- can leave us feeling depleted, too, though. It gets tiresome to see the same old stupidity walking across our desk everyday. We begin to feel like everyone and everything is dumb. (And they can all go jump in the river.)
So, even though this part of our life and our cycle can have some real truth, accuracy, and sword-wielding clarity– it can also make us despair for the world a bit.
Well then- what’s going on? And how do we fix it?
Here’s What’s Going On
Typically, there are two reasons why this feeling of Everyone Is Stupid is happening. The first reason is changes from micro shifts in your cycle in the peri-peri-menopause phase. These changes are so small they don’t really register until years later when you think, “Oh, that’s when it started changing!”
This particular change – clarity about BS during PMS time – is related to a loss of progesterone. Progesterone makes us feel more even-keeled, especially during the second half of our cycle (it is most plentiful then). It also helps us feel confident and capable. In some cases, progesterone also keeps depression at bay.
The second reason we get this feeling of Everyone Is Stupid is related to a loss of estrogen as peri-menopause really sets in. Estrogen helps us do things like juggle multiple-priorities, deal with stress, and keep a stable mood.
When we lose estrogen, during peri-menopause, our capacity to do those things reduces and we are often left feeling frustrated, foggy, and tapped out energetically. These things can, of themselves, lead to us feeling critical and clear.
To be clear: just because we are getting yanked around by our hormones does not mean people aren’t stupid or things don’t need to change.
Which leads me to talk about how we ‘fix’ this feeling.
How Do We Fix This?
And my deepest, most honest, soulful answer is: we don’t need to fix it.
We don’t need to fix your frustration with this world that is in a shambles. We don’t need to fix your anger at how people or projects are handled. We don’t need to fix your clarity about who is being dumb and how it should be changed.
Because – perhaps you’ve noticed – life and society are not particularly great right now. We’ve got a lot of problems. And the masculine ‘Fix It/Do It’ perspective that has gotten us here is not capable of getting us out of the very problems it created.
We need the voices of women who are clear about what isn’t working anymore to fix the problems of this world. The clarity you feel is also a lack of fogginess- and we need that vision! The anger you feel is also a straight arrow to what you know is important – and we need that passion!
This world needs your clear-headed wisdom. And it is only by sharing your anger, frustration, and passion that the world will begin to hear about these needed changes. And, once heard, your visions will begin to open doors to make the world better.
When it feels like Everyone Is Stupid – sit for a moment and be aware of it.
What, exactly, is stupid?
How does it need to be changed?
What do you want to do about it?
These questions will give your clarity guidance. And they will begin to change the world for the better. When we find outlets for our clarity- we get to use it and benefit from it, instead of feeling depleted by it. These are the gifts of our hormones and our peri-menopause.