Why You Hate Everyone and Think They’re Stupid

Why You Hate Everyone and Think They’re Stupid

Because they are. End of blog. Thanks for reading!

Okay, not really. (But actually, I do think that is a viable answer for some people. Some people are stupid. And they happen to sit next to you at work. Amiright?) Anyway…

So, one thing I notice as I enter mid-life, and definitely very clearly from my peri-menopause clients for years, is that as we age we get very clear on what is bullish!t and what is not in our life and in those we interact with.

Sometimes that clarity comes with certain points in our cycle. More towards the pre-menstrual time, we can get super critical and want to crawl inside everyone and get them to behave (!). In peri-menopause this clarity might hang out with us for weeks or months at a time.

We can see exactly what is wrong with the world (and with that project manager) and know exactly how to fix it, too. We can point out all the excess baloney, tell people where to get off, and see who’s being fakety-ass fake.

This season of clarity -sometimes called ‘bitchiness’ by our culture- can leave us feeling depleted, too, though. It gets tiresome to see the same old stupidity walking across our desk everyday. We begin to feel like everyone and everything is dumb. (And they can all go jump in the river.)

So, even though this part of our life and our cycle can have some real truth, accuracy, and sword-wielding clarity– it can also make us despair for the world a bit.

Well then- what’s going on? And how do we fix it?


lightning strikes above a city

Here’s What’s Going On

Typically, there are two reasons why this feeling of Everyone Is Stupid is happening. The first reason is changes from micro shifts in your cycle in the peri-peri-menopause phase. These changes are so small they don’t really register until years later when you think, “Oh, that’s when it started changing!”

This particular change – clarity about BS during PMS time – is related to a loss of progesterone. Progesterone makes us feel more even-keeled, especially during the second half of our cycle (it is most plentiful then). It also helps us feel confident and capable. In some cases, progesterone also keeps depression at bay.

The second reason we get this feeling of Everyone Is Stupid is related to a loss of estrogen as peri-menopause really sets in. Estrogen helps us do things like juggle multiple-priorities, deal with stress, and keep a stable mood.

When we lose estrogen, during peri-menopause, our capacity to do those things reduces and we are often left feeling frustrated, foggy, and tapped out energetically. These things can, of themselves, lead to us feeling critical and clear.

To be clear: just because we are getting yanked around by our hormones does not mean people aren’t stupid or things don’t need to change.

Which leads me to talk about how we ‘fix’ this feeling.


How Do We Fix This?

And my deepest, most honest, soulful answer is: we don’t need to fix it.

We don’t need to fix your frustration with this world that is in a shambles. We don’t need to fix your anger at how people or projects are handled. We don’t need to fix your clarity about who is being dumb and how it should be changed.

Because – perhaps you’ve noticed – life and society are not particularly great right now. We’ve got a lot of problems. And the masculine ‘Fix It/Do It’ perspective that has gotten us here is not capable of getting us out of the very problems it created.

We need the voices of women who are clear about what isn’t working anymore to fix the problems of this world. The clarity you feel is also a lack of fogginess- and we need that vision! The anger you feel is also a straight arrow to what you know is important – and we need that passion!

This world needs your clear-headed wisdom. And it is only by sharing your anger, frustration, and passion that the world will begin to hear about these needed changes. And, once heard, your visions will begin to open doors to make the world better.

When it feels like Everyone Is Stupid – sit for a moment and be aware of it.

What, exactly, is stupid?
How does it need to be changed?
What do you want to do about it?

These questions will give your clarity guidance. And they will begin to change the world for the better. When we find outlets for our clarity- we get to use it and benefit from it, instead of feeling depleted by it. These are the gifts of our hormones and our peri-menopause.



2 Responses

  1. I’m a woman who fought for women’s rights in the 60’s and I have to say: I’m seriously disheartened. For so many decades, now, women have allowed this situation to happen where they are diminished and put in a corner (whatever happened to “Don’t put baby in a corner.” Oh–right–that was a movie.) Women allow the men in their lives to run the show and they’re content with being background noise–and not even that, in most cases. When I fought for women’s medical rights in the 60’s, there were so many educated women whose excuse for not joining the cause to demand change was “Oh, I’m covered by my husband’s plan.” They were content with being an appendage. I was stunned. Now, it’s 2015, and I am almost 70. What do I hear on national news? What will Trump’s wife bring as First Lady?” The cherished “glamour” once provided by Jackie Kennedy. Yep, that’s what American women aspire to (Kim Kardashian has Twitter followers in the many millions, tho’ she’s an idiot.) Nothing changes because we women don’t change it. If we really unified, we could change this gun climate, too, but we don’t. We allow ourselves to be minimized and diminished.

    We’d end the senseless wars (cuz we give birth to the children who become future soldiers and casualties)…we’ll disallow rape and pillage…

    Why? We’re used to getting to the heart of the problem, in mere survival. We’ve been negotiating for years from a less-than-equitable position.

    We also, ironically, hold the majority of the world’s fortune (yes, women who inherit).

    My only question is: When will young women get tired enough of this status quo and assert their real power? I hope I live to see it…

  2. […] is nothing wrong with you or your feelings. For years I have been praising the virtues of female anger – and it is finally being accepted, albeit slowly. But I think the real task ahead is to […]

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