how ’bout the good shit?!
Okay. So. The last couple of months have been hard for a lot of folks, me included. Sometimes that was due to my own decisions and sometimes it was due to Life and whatever the stars seemed to be throwing at me. However it happened, the winter was hard.
Last week I shared about how to turn a negative habit on its head (see that post here) so that we could start seeing some of the good in our lives and pointing our brain in a more resilient direction. But this week, things seem to be shifting. I cannot tell you how many women I have seen begin to RISE into someone better, stronger, clearer.
I have seen women tell the wrong people to fuck off forever. (Like, “get your useless ass out of here, I ain’t got time for this bullshit anymore” kinda stuff- I LOVE THAT!).
I have seen women take the leap into some project they have wanted to do forever and get that giddy feeling when you know you’re doing something right for your life.
I have seen women own their wisdom and dreams and throw negative people off their trail like they are shedding winter clothes. Your loss, fool.
I have seen women who have taken the high road, over and over again, so they can stay in their integrity. And then their actions have totally put them in the right place at the right time. (I’ve also seen women who finally got tired of being nice, let their fangs show, and also got what they needed. We call this ‘skillful usage of one’s resources.’ Knowing which to use at which time is rather awesome.)
I am a huge proponent for women taking their knowledge, wisdom, and power and turning it into action. When it’s action that feels right, that’s just the best.
I have no reason as to why this is happening, but I am going to embrace it. Cuz, yeah, sometimes we have to learn how to deal with the crap in a healthy way. But sometimes we gotta celebrate the good shit at mid-life. And if you look, even the smallest bit, there’s a lot to celebrate.
- You know a fuck ton more than you did at 20.
- You can laugh at stuff that used to make you cry.
- You got skills. You have learned how to Do Things.
- You know how to end and how to begin again.
- You know when something or someone is toxic.
- You bullshit yourself less than you used to.
- You accept yourself more than you used to.
- If you’re in the Sex Surge, you are the fucking bomb (how many stories have been written about the amazing “sexually capable woman who wants to do it all the time?” A LOT.)
- You know how to reach goals.
- You know a lot about who you are and who you aren’t anymore.
- There are patches of your life you’d never want to go back to, but you got through them.
- You know you are strong.
- You know what matters.
If you can, I suggest that you get specific about these things. What is the good shit in your life right now?
What do you like about yourself? (The more you name, the more points you get.) :o)
What’s pretty outside your window right now?
What do know now that you didn’t at 20? 30? 40?
What goals have you reached?
In what ways are you strong?
What kinds of food make you happy? What about movies, exercise, music?
Which people make you happy?
What’s great about being in mid-life?
What’s great about being in the Sex Surge?
What one story do you love to tell about yourself?
There are lots of ways to gather this information and keep it for later (when times get tough). You can journal about it. You can draw some simple flowers on a page and fill each petal with a good thing. You can make a play list- what songs remind you of the good stuff in your life? (This is a personal fave.) You can pull pictures together in a folder on your phone or tablet. I keep a board on Pinterest that’s private and just for my good stuff. It’s worth collecting these somewhere fairly easy to access so you can refer to it when you feel down.
But, if nothing else, I want you to remember that there is good shit to celebrate in life. Yes, it gets hard- really hard- sometimes. But it can also be really great to be alive. And for the sake of joy, of resilience, of brain training, I want you to take a few moments and think about all the good stuff in your life. Because at mid-life we really do know a lot. We really are strong. We really have weathered some storms. And we should celebrate it all.