Well, it’s the day after Valentine’s and you may be doing one of several things:
- Buying chocolate that has been discounted by 70%. (Hey, I’m right there with ya.)
- Feeling good about whatever went down between you and your significant other yesterday.
- Feeling ‘less than good’ about whatever went down between you and your significant other yesterday. (By the way: Valentine’s is a pain in the ass holiday for most people. Make it easier for next year and talk about what you want. Be honest, be clear, lay out your desires and expectations and have a conversation– it will help.)
- If you’re in the Sex Surge (or not!) and wanting someone else, today you’re probably thinking of them a lot.
Love and desire are funny things…
When I was in the Sex Surge, I had to go really deep with some stuff. I had to get really uncomfortable with my emotions and really desperate with my options and really frustrated with myself to learn some stuff. (That would be Life hitting me over the head, repeatedly, until I learned my lesson…) And one of the things I had to learn was that my desire was okay.
And this is a lesson I think many women have to learn at mid-life (and beyond!) even if we’re not in the Sex Surge. Our desire is okay.
I had to come to terms with the fact that, yeah, I desired this guy. A lot. And I had to come to terms with the idea that my desire was okay.
What I did with my desire…that’s another question. But the desire, in and of itself, wasn’t a bad thing. Wasn’t something to be ashamed of or hidden.
In fact, my desire held a lot of wisdom. My desire for the Other Guy (OG) was actually a doorway into looking at myself, my life, my joy, my sex, my pain, my partnership in new and different ways. There was no way I could have learned what I did about my self and what I wanted for my life, if I hadn’t opened to that desire and listened to what it was showing me.
My desire was actually very wise, in a strange way. The desire to be with the OG -on many levels, not just physically- was my life (call it spirit or soul or path, perhaps) trying to get me to wake up, grow up, learn, and live a more fulfilled life. I needed the desire for him (courtesy of the Sex Surge) in order to see those things and be wrecked a bit, so that I could create a truer version of my self and my life.
My desire was very wise- and so is yours.
When we are talking about mid-life generally, desires are changing. Kids are growing up, leaving us more room to be with ourselves; we find we desire different things or experiences. Our relationships, including our partnership, are changing. And we may desire different things than we used to. This is both okay and really good stuff to dig into.
With the Sex Surge, or anytime we desire someone else to the point of an affair, this desire also has something to teach us. What that lesson is, is different for everyone. But it has something to show us, nonetheless. And this is why I am teaching The Mermaid’s Dilemma– to help you find the purpose of your desire, so you can make the best decisions that make your life feel fulfilled.
Whether your desire is for chocolate, time to yourself, an affair, something beautiful to wear, a hug from a beloved, or fill-in-the-blank listen to it. The truth, the heart of your desire may be different than how it initially presents itself- be open to that. But listen to those desires. There is insight and wisdom there.
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About that class…it’s called…
The Mermaid’s Dilemma
You can click these words right here and be transported to the sales page that gives you all the details.
Yes, it is a class about affairs. And we are going to talk about them from every angle I could think of, every angle I had to grapple with in my own journey, an every angle the women I talk to say, “I wish I had known….”
At the end, you will be able to make decisions- good decisions- despite your hormones and confusion.
Click on over to read more.
PS: I am not into the ‘hard’ sell. This class is open to anyone, there are no limits on space, I won’t pressure you about anything. Read it and see if it fits for you. If it does, purchase and join us on this journey of insight and action.
If you have questions: email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can talk.