I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t had a rough time in life. We have all had something happen in our life that was difficult, painful, overwhelming, or traumatic. Sometimes that stuff is with family (which can make it even more complicated and painful). We expect that our family will understand and love us no matter what and when they don’t or can’t – that’s some of the worst pain there is.
Sometimes the painful stuff is with our friends or inside of our work/job. When those areas have difficulty or feel overwhelming, it can really drain our energy. Work is especially difficult because it ties us to safety- in our current society, if we don’t have work, we don’t have food, shelter, or clothes.
Sometimes the overwhelm and trauma comes from our body- often through the changes and failures of this body that we encounter over our lifetime. When our body situation is overwhelming, it’s a double-whammy: both mind and body dance inside the anxiety, frustration, and fear.
And yet, we get through, don’t we?
We deal with it. We take care of things. We take care of our people and ourselves and we get through it. Beautiful, gorgeous humans- we get through it and keep going.
[What is that Facebook saying? “You’ve had difficulties and you’re still alive; you have a 100% success rate.” It’s true.]
Today I’m wondering: what is it that gets us through?
What is the thing inside each of us that keeps us going, even when we feel like we’re on our knees, walking through a rock-strewn desert? (Forgive me, Mary Oliver, you know how that feels.)
My sense is that what keeps us going is what we care about the most: our personal values.
We keep going and get through the difficulties because of what we hold most precious, most important in our lives.
It took me a while to discover my personal values. But once I finally hit on the right words, I knew they had shaped me from my early adulthood.
My core values are: health, love, and truth.
I am always taking action based on those things.
When we know our jet fuel, we can use it to reach high goals.
When I get frustrated with my work, I immediately connect with my value of ‘health’ and it gives me energy to keep going and working for health education, healthcare equality, and the awareness of the Sex Surge. I want everyone to be healthy and healed. And I know that core value has gotten me through some very rough patches.
My value for truth is a big part of why my marriage has lasted so long. My husband and I learned to tell the truth, even if/when it hurt, so that we could work through things together. It has kept resentment to a minimum and allowed me to admit resentment so we could handle it and heal it.
Love has kept me here, talking about the Sex Surge and menopause, for all these years. Because I really do love it and want to help women find their truth and health in the midst of all the hormonal upheaval those phases can bring.
These three things- love, health, and truth- have been my secret jet fuel for the difficult times. Over and over I return to them, like an old friend. They welcome me, love me, and give me energy for moving forward.
So- I want to know (or rather, I want you to know for yourself!)- what is your jet fuel?
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Listed below are 200 core values to choose from. Most people have 1-3 that they return to, over and over again.
As you look at the list (might be helpful to print it off and hang out with it for a few days!)- consider two things:
- What’s the core value or feeling when you know you’re really in the truth of your life? (Like, when things are great in life and you feel really connected- what’s the value happening in that moment?)
- What’s the core value or feeling that’s missing when you’re not in a great place? (When your life has felt really crap and you have to dig to find some way to keep going- what feeling or value helped you get through?)
Core Values List
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In the coaching realm, one of the first questions that often gets asked during initial sessions or an intake is “what are your core values?”- because we know if clients connect to their core values, they’re more likely to reach their goals.
Finding your core values is not something you need a coach for, though! You can do it all on your own. And once you do, I think you’ll find they show you a broader, deeper sense of yourself. In fact, core values are broader and deeper than just our tiny human self- and that’s why they matter more and give us more energy- because they are bigger than we are. And that deeper sense of yourself and your connection to the world is a huge resource for every part of your journey.