Sometimes I don’t know what to write to you ladies, so I get quiet and sit with myself, and ask my Inner Knowing: ‘what do my ladies need this week?’ Which is what I did today.
And the answer was: love. Just love.
::: ::: ::: :::
So here’s the thing: I love you.
I want you to know that I, and a few other people in this world, truly, really love you. It might be people you know that love you, or people you don’t even know (sometimes we fear reaching out to those we love). But there are people that love you. And I am one of them.
And this is true. I am one of those personalities that loves easily and for a long time. If you have potential, I will love you until almost forever. I love freely and fully, for as long as I can. (Unless you are evil. I can’t love evil people. And some people do have black souls.) In all other cases, I love and love and love… And that means you.
You are an amazing woman (or man! hi, dude readers!)- unique in this world, bringing special ideas, skills, heart + soul, and goodness to this world. And, woman, we so need what you have to offer.
I deeply believe that each of us here for a special purpose. Not like “Hollywood!!!” special purpose, but still something unique. We have different gifts, perspectives, and skills than anyone else on this planet- but we are each here to love the world up with those gifts. And that includes you, lovedove.
I love that you care for your people so much; you give them everything you’ve got.
Sometimes that is exhausting, but you do what you gotta do. And I love you for that.
I love that you feel your joys and sorrows- that you know the good and beautiful moments of your life, that you can remember them with your whole heart + body, you don’t need a picture to remind you.
I love that you are doing your damnedest to make sure your family is taken care of. Whatever work you are doing, I know you are working hard.
I love that you are trying to deal with your hormones and your mid-life growth and that means you are part of the community here. I love that you want mid-life to be a time of growth and self-recognition.
I love that, if you’re in the Sex Surge, you are trying to make the best of it, even when it drives you absolutely ker-azy. I know you are working your ass off to make sure you enjoy this and don’t hurt anyone and still get your needs met (even if that makes you look a little out of step to other people; I love what you’re doing!).
I love that you’re you and sometimes you don’t even know who that is.
I love that you’re strong and hold together people and relationships with the duct tape of your love.
I love that you find good in the pain and light in the dark. I also love that you can feel the dark things; I love your courage.
I love that you are here, breathing, reading, and working to make good of all that you have been given.
And to end, I want to tell you a short story about love.
As a way of remembering what I learned in the Surge with my FF, I got a tattoo (well, I got two, but one was for me, and one was for wisdom- this is the wisdom one). You can see it below:
[FYI: harder to take a decent shot of your own boobs than
you might imagine- lol.]
To me, this tattoo means that I will move beyond ‘probabilities’ and ‘knowledge’ (the two broken lines at the bottom symbolize knowledge) and let my heart be free. It doesn’t just mean in romantic relationships, but in whatever captures my heart or soul, or fills me with passion. With my FF, I always figured, “the probability is this will never work,” and I never went for it. I let knowledge get in the way of passion. (Although, that turned out to be exactly the right thing for my situation.)
When my tattoo guy put the template design on my sternum, there was something missing. I saw the arrow pointing upwards only. I realized (!)- there needed to be as much love coming in from anything I was passionate about, as there was love coming out of me.
It took me a long time to let go of my FF (which, again, I will say more about later), but my letting go really opened up when I made one small action. I said to myself, with the most honesty + truth + love I could muster, “I love you, Joanna.” I sat quietly and just for a moment really felt love for myself. And that began to fill the hole that I had carried as a torch for him for so long.
So, I want you to know that I love you.
And I hope that you love yourself.
And I hope that you tell yourself so.
And if you need to, you can have my love so that you can feed yourself with it. Because love is a dance of giving and receiving, even with ourselves.
I love you.