What is the mermaid’s dilemma?
It is this: should she live on dry land, and enjoy all the exotic wonders available to her there, but never really know if it was ‘home?’ Should we take the lover, have an affair, leave our primary partner, try for something better?
Or should the mermaid return to her watery world- a place well-loved, but seemingly less exciting than the land? Should we try to work on our marriage? Or work on ourselves? How do we know when it’s a good decision to stay- or go?
It’s the age-old question: what do we choose when both options look like decent possibilities?
The women I have talked with come to this question for two main reasons:
1- you’ve changed enough by the time you reach mid-life you know who you are and more about what you want. And maybe what you want is a new partner and a new life or just an affair for yourself.
2- The Sex Surge, when the libido switches into high gear and you’re not sure which part of your brain or body is in control. But you’d like a lot of sex and that might be ruining your partnership.
This dilemma is one of the most painful questions to understand and deal with without some good quality information, which we sometimes feel ashamed to seek.
Now, we can talk all day, up one side and down the other, about affairs and whether they are moral or not. There are decent arguments on both sides. But talking about the morality of affairs does very little to solve the actual problems of people contemplating affairs or having them. So…
This course is about figuring out what’s going on in your desire to have an affair, or how to decide and deal if you’re already in one.
[In this video, I share more about the foundation for the class- and you can see what I’m like!]
What Happens During the Class
Here’s the layout for the 5-week class.
During this 30 minute intro call, we’ll get some deeper details on the class, cover the admin stuff, and also look at practices that will help you get the most out of the class, including meditation and why you’re a good person if you’re in this class (even if you think you’re not).
Every week there will be a content class on Saturday and an Q&A session on Wednesday. This will allow you time to hear the class (in person or as a download), process the information, and then email me your questions so we can talk them out on Wednesdays.
At no time will you have to speak or share your questions with other people, on any call. This is meant to be as private as possible, which is why I am taking questions via email only- and will answer them during the calls (no identifying information will be shared!).
The Intro Call is on Wednesday, March 15th. Content calls start on Saturday, March 18th.
Week 1: Your Brain + Body In ‘Affair’ Mode
The first week we are going to look at what the heck is going on with your brain and body during the Sex Surge and in the early stages of an affair (before the hook-ups begin).
We’ll talk about the effects of testosterone and estrogen, the male and female brain, addiction, and how your ‘cave lady’ brain (called the ‘limbic’ brain) is not helping.
I’ll share tools to deal with these various brain chemicals so you can see more clearly what you’re choosing, why you’re choosing it, and make higher-quality decisions that are more in line with who you know yourself to be.
Week 2: The Emotional Piece
This week we’ll look at what’s happening emotionally for women who are contemplating (or living in) two relationships.
We’re going to talk about the role of shame and guilt and how they can keep us blind to important information- also, how to feel less shame and guilt. We’ll also be looking deeply at how self-esteem relates to affairs (it’s not what you think!) .
Week 3: Your Soul and Spiritual Connection in Affairs
In Week 3, we’ll look at which part of you (body, mind, or spirit) needs to be in control and make decisions. And also talk about the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘desires’- and how both of them can help us as we deal with an affair.
We’ll also dig deep into what our life is trying to tell us through contemplating or having an affair; sometimes our lover is a mirror and sometimes they’re more.
Week 4: What Kind of Affair Is This?
This week is a big one. We’re going to talk about the 3 kinds of mid-life affairs most women have. And we’re also going to dig into the 15+ other types of affairs people (men and women) have- and what those tell us about ourselves, our needs, and what questions we need to ask ourselves. What you learn from this week will help make your choices very clear.
Week 5: Making Choices, Moving Forward
In the final week, we’re going to learn about how to make a decision about an affair- whether to have one or not. We’ll also look at the four situations where affairs can be effective (if we know what we’re doing). And also, if you’re in an affair, how to decide between the two people you’ve given your heart to.
This class is a safe, confidential space for you to learn and ask questions without being judged.
What You Will Gain From Taking the Class
After finishing the course you will:
Understand what the heck is going on, in body, mind, and spirit with an affair (or the desire to have one). You’ll feel a lot less confused after Week 1.
Be able to understand why you’re in an affair, or contemplating one, and know what actions to take.
Get out from under shame, guilt, and fear so you can make better decisions; tune up your ‘radar’ in relationships.
Assess the emotional and spiritual aspects of affairs and know how to weigh them in your personal situation.
Have clarity about what your affair (or the possibility of one) is offering you in terms of personal growth, and know whether you need to stay in the affair for that growth or not.
Be able to decide whether or not to have an affair, and, if you’re in one, whether or not to get out.
You will also get PDF transcripts of each session and digital downloads of each content and Q&A phone call (24 hours after each session). The materials will be available for 90 days after the end of the course (and you will be notified before they are deleted).
Before the Sale: An Important Disclaimer
This class is designed to create a place for you to look within and make the choices that are right for you. I will use my own experience, training, and years of speaking with clients to help you do this.
Inevitably, some difficult things may come up that are hard to look at. Emotions may come up that make you uncomfortable. You may get upset or angry and want to quit. That is your choice; this is hard work. But, I cannot give refunds based on your emotions or being unwilling to do the work necessary to make such a difficult decision. Even if you decide to quit, the recordings will be available to you for a limited time. You can listen to them and try to use them on your own to make your choices. I will not be available for questions after the class is over.
If you feel you need to talk, or, if at some point you find you are able to do the hard work, you are free to sign up for a one-time coaching call with me or one of my coaching packages. You can find them on my Services page. In either case, no refunds will be given for this course, so please make your decision accordingly.
** This course is not currently being offered. It is slated to begin again in Spring 2018. **
If you are are concerned about how this will look on your credit/debit card, it will show as “Twelve Health Solutions/ Joanna Meriwether.” The phrase “The Mermaid’s Dilemma” may or may not show on your statement.